Bullying is a serious issue, and unfortunately, it is one that affects autistic people more often.

Although the wider community’s awareness of bullying is growing, it continues to impact people of all ages and backgrounds at school, the workplace and even at home. Both autistic children and adults can experience bullying and may not have as much awareness or support as their neurotypical peers.    

This Bullying No Way Week, we’re discussing what bullying can look like and how it impacts people on the autism spectrum. We’ll also share some strategies for addressing bullying in different settings and seeking support.

• What does bullying look like?
• Impacts of bullying
• Addressing bullying
• Further support

What does bullying look like?

Bullying involves the deliberate and repeated use of words and actions to hurt another individual or group of people. This behaviour hurts the target and can make them upset, scared, threatened, or angry. Bullying does not have one single ‘look’ and can occur in a variety of places, both inside and outside of school, home and the workplace. It comes in different forms, including physical, verbal, social and psychological, and it can also occur online (cyberbullying).

Some types of bullying are more obvious to external observers. Physical, verbal and social bullying in face-to-face settings is often classified as ‘direct bullying,’ meaning that bystanders and outside observers can witness it happen more easily. It also means the bully or bullies can usually be identified quickly.

However, some forms of bullying are much more subtle or even anonymous and, therefore, harder to identify and address. These forms of bullying are known as ‘indirect bullying’ and can include spreading rumours behind someone’s back or cyberbullying someone using an anonymous profile.  

Bullying can be challenging to identify in intimate relationships. Behaviours such as ‘gaslighting’ (when someone says or does things to make you question your reality) or ‘love-bombing’ (being manipulated through compliments and gifts) can cause relationships to become unhealthy or even abusive quickly. Our page on dating and relationship safety explains the signs of both an unhealthy and abusive relationship and how to seek support.

Impacts of bullying

Although bullying can take different forms and happen in many other places, its impacts are essentially the same:

• ‍Self-esteem issues: People who are bullied can develop poor self-esteem and lack confidence in themselves and their abilities.‍
• Trust issues: Autistic people can struggle to trust both new and familiar people after experiencing bullying. An example is avoiding people and social events, particularly at school or work.  ‍
• Trauma and PTSD: Some people can be traumatised by bullying and even develop complex mental health challenges such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).‍
• Social withdrawal: Many people who are bullied will withdraw socially. This may be an attempt to avoid their bullies or because of mental ill-health. This can impact their social skill development or cause them to be more anxious in future social situations.‍
• Performance and participation issues: Bullying can impact an individual’s performance at school, work or extracurricular activities and cause them to struggle with attendance and learning new skills.‍
• Mental ill-health: Persistent bullying can lead to mental health challenges, including anxiety and depression. In some situations, bullying can trigger suicidality.

If you or someone you know needs urgent support or is in crisis, please get in touch with one of the following services immediately:‍

• ‍Lifeline: Provides all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.‍
• Kids Helpline: A free, private and confidential 24-hour phone and online counselling service for young people aged 5 to 25.‍
• 1800RESPECT: The national sexual assault and domestic and family violence counselling service for anyone in Australia.

In an emergency, call 000.

Addressing bullying

Regardless of where and how bullying is taking place, it must be addressed as quickly as possible to prevent it from escalating or having long-term impacts on health and wellbeing. Depending on the type of bullying and where it is happening, there are different strategies autistic people and their loved ones can use to seek support.

Bullying in the school years

Schools, sports clubs and other organisations play a key role in addressing and preventing bullying among school-aged children. No-tolerance policies around bullying should already be in place, and any procedures to address the issue should consider both online and face-to-face bullying as well as the support needs of the autistic person affected.

Sometimes, a school or activity organiser will contact a child’s family to inform them about a bullying incident. Families may also find out about bullying from their children directly. Whatever the circumstance, arranging a meeting with the school or activity organiser as soon as possible is very important.  

In addition to anti-bullying policies, schools, clubs, sports teams, and other extracurricular activities should consider initiatives that encourage acceptance and inclusion. Prevention programs can teach children how to recognise bullying happening to themselves or others and how to seek help. Informal solutions such as buddy systems, designated areas for emotional regulation and additional supervision during group activities can all help to maintain a positive and inclusive environment.

While addressing bullying in these settings, it is equally important that your child feels safe and supported at home. Consider how your child communicates and how you can encourage them to share their emotions and experiences with you. Some children may be able to talk about what has happened; some might prefer to draw or write about what has happened, while others may need to use visual supports or assistive technology (AT).  

Advocacy is an essential part of getting what we want and need and ensuring we are treated with dignity and respect. Where possible, teach your child how to advocate for themselves or to seek support by advocating for their needs. This empowers them to speak up if they experience or see bullying happen and seek assistance from a trusted adult. Developing and practising these skills will also support the transition to life after school, both for you and for them.    

If your child has social media accounts, plays video games or has access to digital devices, monitoring their behaviour or asking questions about their online activity can help you identify cyberbullying early. Teaching autistic children and teenagers how to stay safe online is vital for their health and wellbeing both now and in the future.

Bullying in the workplace

Bullying in the workplace can be addressed in two ways: informally or through formal procedures. Although many workplaces have policies for addressing bullying, some do not. There are also instances where bullying can be resolved through an informal conversation between the bully and the person they are targeting, without any external mediators or support. If the bully makes you feel unsafe, or you try to address the issue informally and it does not work, it is usually better to pursue formal action.

Before reporting the issue/s, familiarise yourself with your company’s policies around bullying. You might like to ask a mentor, colleague or support person to help you, particularly if they have witnessed the bullying. It is also important to gather as much evidence of the bullying as possible before reporting it: this could include e-mails, messages or writing down how the bullying happened in a face-to-face scenario.

Once you have made a report to the relevant person or team (e.g., Human Resources, your supervisor/manager), you may be asked to attend meetings or submit statements about the bullying and how it has impacted you. Consider how you prefer to communicate and ask your workplace to accommodate this (e.g., providing a written statement rather than participating in a face-to-face discussion). It can also be helpful to have a support person attend these meetings or help you to give evidence.

If your workplace does not take appropriate action to resolve or prevent bullying, you may be able to take legal action. Speaking to a disability advocate or a legal professional specialising in employment law can help you understand your options and rights.

Bullying at home or in relationships

Your home should be a safe space to rest, relax, and be your authentic self. If you are being bullied by a family member, partner, or roommate, you may feel unsafe in your own home, which can impact all areas of your health and wellbeing.

If you live with other people who are not involved in the bullying, speaking to them privately can help you gain advice and perspective. If you do not live with anyone else or can’t talk to the people you live with about the bullying, contact a family member, friend or someone you trust. You might like to speak to them face-to-face or tell them what happened in a text message or phone call; this is entirely up to you.

If you feel safe and comfortable to do so, having a conversation with the person bullying you can help address the issue. You can bring a support person to this conversation if it helps you. An open discussion gives everyone an opportunity to share their perspective and set boundaries that can prevent bullying behaviours or tension from escalating. If the bully continues their poor behaviour after this conversation, or a conversation is not possible, consider spending some time apart or looking into alternative living arrangements.  

In some situations, bullying at home or in relationships can make it difficult or impossible for you to reach out to other people. If you are experiencing abuse or your safety is at risk, contact a domestic and family violence helpline as soon as possible.  

Further support

Reporting bullying is essential, but it is equally necessary to seek support for your mental and social health at the same time. This helps you to develop skills and coping strategies to prioritise your own needs, something that traditional means of reporting bullying may not be able to provide. Visit these links on support options for autistic children, autistic adults and parents/carers for more information.

For more information related to autism and bullying, visit the links below:

• ‍Bullying resources‍
• Making school work‍
• Making the workplace work for you