Social skills for autistic adults

For many autistic adults, social interactions can be particularly complex and challenging. 

Social or interpersonal skills are our abilities to interact and communicate with others. This includes verbal skills—how we talk to others—and nonverbal skills—our body language, gestures, assistive technology and eye contact. Having strong interpersonal skills helps us communicate effectively, socialise, and build relationships with a wide range of people. For autistic individuals, navigating social situations can be uniquely challenging. 

Common social challenges

Autistic adults may experience a range of social difficulties, including:

• Understanding social cues: Difficulty interpreting body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
• Conversation skills: Challenges in initiating, maintaining, and ending conversations appropriately.
• Social anxiety: Feeling overwhelmed or anxious in social settings.
• Empathy and perspective-taking: Difficulty understanding others' perspectives or feelings.
• Forming and maintaining relationships: Struggles with developing and sustaining friendships or romantic relationships.

Strategies to enhance social skills

Improving social skills involves practice, patience, and, often, structured support. Here are some effective strategies:

Social skills programs

Several programs and resources are available to help autistics improve their social skills. These programs, often run by autistic adults who share their experiences and strategies, can be effective. Participation in structured social skills programs can provide valuable practice and feedback in a supportive environment. Below are some examples of resources and programs that might be beneficial:

• Peer support networks and groups: These offer a community where autistic individuals can share experiences and strategies. They provide a supportive environment where one can practice social skills and receive peer feedback.
• Local autism associations: Many regions have organisations dedicated to supporting autistic individuals. These associations often run workshops, social groups, and other programs focused on building social skills.
• Autism Connect helpline and web chat: This service offers guidance and information about available resources and support networks. It can be a good starting point for finding local programs and services.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a type of therapy that helps individuals manage their thoughts and behaviours. For autistic adults, CBT can address social anxiety and improve coping mechanisms in social situations. Techniques may include:

• Cognitive restructuring: Identifying and challenging negative thought patterns.
• Exposure therapy: Gradually facing social situations to reduce anxiety over time.
• Skills training: Developing specific social and communication skills.

Joining social groups and clubs

Engaging in group activities that align with personal interests can provide a natural environment for social interaction. This might include:

• Hobby clubs: Groups focused on shared interests, such as gaming, arts, or sports.
• Support groups: Gatherings of individuals with similar experiences, offering mutual support.
• Community events: Participating in local events or volunteer opportunities.

Using technology

Technology can be a valuable tool for improving social skills. Some useful applications and platforms include:

• Apps for social skills: Programs designed to teach and reinforce social behaviours.
• Online communities: Forums and social networks that provide a space for interaction and support.
• Video conferencing: Practising face-to-face interactions in a less intimidating online environment.

Sensory management

Many autistic individuals have sensory sensitivities that can impact their social interactions. Strategies to manage sensory input include:

• Creating a sensory-friendly environment: Adjusting lighting, noise levels, and other sensory inputs to reduce discomfort.
• Using sensory tools: Items like noise-cancelling headphones, fidget toys, or weighted blankets to manage sensory overload.
• Planning breaks: Taking regular breaks in quiet spaces to prevent sensory overwhelm during social activities.

The role of family and carers

Family members and carers are often key supporters in the social development of autistic adults. Their involvement can include:

Providing emotional support

Being a consistent source of encouragement and understanding is vital. This involves:

• Active listening: Being attentive and responsive to the individual’s feelings and experiences.
• Positive reinforcement: Celebrating successes and providing encouragement during challenges.

Facilitating social opportunities

Helping to create and support social opportunities can involve:

• Organising activities: Planning events or outings that align with the individual’s interests.
• Encouraging participation: Gently encouraging involvement in social activities without pressure.

Advocating for inclusion

Advocacy can make a significant difference in creating more inclusive environments. This can include:

• Promoting awareness: Sharing information about autism with community members.
• Supporting policy changes: Advocating for policies that promote inclusion and accessibility in various settings.

The importance of personalised approaches

Each autistic individual is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Personalised approaches to social skills development are important. 

Identifying strengths and interests

Focusing on strengths and interests can provide a foundation for building social skills. This might include:

• Interest-based activities: Engaging in activities that the individual enjoys and excels in.
• Strengths-based approaches: Leveraging existing skills and talents to enhance social interactions.

Setting realistic goals

Setting achievable and meaningful goals is important for progress. 

• Collaborative goal-setting: Working with the individual to set goals that are important to them.
• Gradual progress: Breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.

Regular monitoring and adaptation

Regularly assessing progress and adapting strategies as needed ensures continued development. This involves:

• Feedback and reflection: Continuously reflecting on what is working and what is not.
• Flexibility: Being open to trying new approaches and making adjustments as needed.

Improving social skills is a process that requires patience, practice, and the right resources. For autistic individuals, it is important to find strategies and tools that align with their unique needs and strengths. By exploring different approaches to showing interest, managing eye contact, speaking clearly, choosing effective communication channels, and practising patience, autistic individuals can build stronger interpersonal skills. Participation in social skills programs and peer support networks can further support this development, providing a community and structured environment for growth. Ultimately, the goal is to enable autistic individuals to communicate more effectively and build meaningful relationships, contributing to a more inclusive and understanding society.